Not A Puppet
by nagato18
Summary: Shiki squeezed her small hands tightly as she regained consciousness. He beamed eagerly like a child when she opened her eyes. But then, he dropped her pale hands from his hold after a question popped out of her mouth: "Have we met before?" ShikiRima R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Yeap, another Shiki and Rima fic. I couldn't help thinking about these two. An idea popped up in my small head and here is the first chapter. This one I would like to dedicate to my best friend in cyber space, **Fyr-chan**! My heartiest congrats to you! Hope you like it. Contains a bit of angst, if you ask me. R & R onegaishimasu!

**Disclaimer: **VK is strictly not mine. If it is, the world is certainly gonna topple over because I'm not capable of producing such amazing arts like Hino-sensei did.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

The soft morning rays of light crept in through the windows. The half-closed curtains filtered some of the light that began to grow brighter. The faint melody from the chirping birds reached Shiki's sharp ears.

He opened his eyes slowly, finding himself slumped on a couch beside a bed.

_Rima's bed._

Shiki lifted his head to look at her closely. Her pale face glimmered faintly and her silky golden locks were let loose. Her serene expression radiated some warmth to his heart. His gaze fell on her closed eyes. He missed those round cerulean eyes. They hadn't been opened for a week and he missed her voice very badly.

Yes, a week.

It had been a week since she was unconscious. It had been a week since her battle with Rido. It had been a week since he returned to his normal self. And it had been a week since he took care of her.

He never left her side since she fell unconscious. It took her a long time to heal though she was one of the noble vampires. She was severely injured and Shiki took all the blame to himself. He could never forgive himself. True, it wasn't really him that hurt her but still, he should not let his own father to use him.

Shiki reached out and took a strand of her hair. He let it slid down his long fingers before placing a hand on her smooth cheek. Then, he grasped her hand tightly and continued to watch her.

Suddenly, he could feel her fingers wriggled in his hold. Startled, Shiki looked up and stared at her. His heart beat faster and faster and he squeezed her hand. 'Come on, Rima!'

"Uh…" a low moan escaped from her lips and slowly, her blue eyes came to his sight.

Shiki beamed in excitement. He never felt this way before. Having to see the bluest eyes of hers was what he was waiting for. He grasped her tiny hand and looked at her eagerly. "Rima? Are you okay?"

Disoriented, Rima slid up and leaned against the bed. She looked at her hand, which was in Shiki's hold and finally her gaze went to him. She focused and stared at him intently before tilting her head to a side.

"Have we met before?"

Shiki felt as if someone had just splashed a bucket of icy cold water on his face. He was in total shock that he didn't realize he was trembling. His eyes grew wide as he stared into hers. Her cerulean orbs were blank and empty. She blinked as he let go of her hand.

"Don't you… remember me?" Shiki whispered.

Rima tilted her head to the other side and paused. "No. Who are you?"

Shiki looked away and bit his lips. Was this a punishment? If so, he didn't think he could face it. It was too hard. Why did fate have to be so cruel? She was the most precious person to him. The nightmares he had for hurting her with his own hands were almost like a life-sentence for him until he didn't dare to close his eyes and drift off again.

He turned to look at her and pasted a fake smile on his almost-translucent face. "I'm Shiki Senri. I don't know if you remember but I'm your childhood friend," he said. Every word that came out of his mouth stabbed his heart, making his chest to hurt deeply.

"Oh. Really? Sorry, I… I can't remember. You must be very important to me, then," she replied, smiling at him gently.

Shiki was startled. "Do you remember anything else?" he asked hopefully.

Rima pondered for a moment. "Except for my name, I can only remember a few people."

'Except me,' Shiki thought, his deep eyes shadowed by his fringe.

"Uhm, do you know how long--" she stopped suddenly and gasped. Her hands clamped her throat as she choked and her eyes were wide with horror.

Shiki quickly looked up and frowned as realization hit him. 'Could it be…?'

Rima breathed heavily as she felt her body grew hotter. Sweats started to form on her forehead and she bit her lips. Why did she feel extremely thirsty out of a sudden? And it was not the thirst for water. She thirsted for something else…

She turned to Shiki who was looking at her with calculating eyes. Her eyes roamed over his face and finally stayed on his long, pale neck. The inviting sight made her mouth go dry and her gasps grew heavier.

Without knowing it, she dove at him on full speed, knocking him over. She pinned him on the floor but he didn't struggle. Leaning closer, she licked one side of his neck and sunk her fangs into his smooth skin.

Shiki closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't even flinch as his blood flowed out of his body, into Rima's throat. He would let her drink until she was satisfied. His eyes fluttered open as she descended her sharp fangs from his neck.

He rose slowly, half-sitting, half-lying. With one elbow as a support, he wiped the remaining blood on his neck with a finger and brought it to his lips, licking it. Rima, who was still on top of him, stared at the two-hole wound as it healed, leaving no scar on his neck.

Shiki reached out and used his thumb to wipe her mouth. She blinked in confusion as she realized that her thirst had completely disappeared. Her bloodlust.

"I- I'm a vampire," she whispered to herself. "You, too. And I could sense a few others…"

She scrambled off him and sat on the floor. Shiki watched silently as she hugged her knees together. Suddenly, the door burst open and four vampires rushed into the room.

"Shiki, what happened? We could smell blood and--" Ichijou stopped abruptly as he looked at the empty bed and then at Rima. "Rima! You're awake!" he exclaimed.

"Rima," Ruka whispered gratefully as she approached her.

Rima looked at each one of them. "Ichijou, Ruka, Kain and of course the annoying Aidou," she said slowly as her gaze shifted from one face to another.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Aidou asked, almost shouting at her.

"Knock it off, Hanabusa. She was just awake," Kain interrupted his cousin.

Shiki stood up and approached Ichijou. "Ichijou, sorry for the uneasiness that I caused. I gave my blood to her though it was against the rules--"

"No, that's okay, Shiki," Ichijou said, patting the brunette's shoulder. The latter arched one eyebrow, asking for explanation.

"Dorm President Kuran said that was fine. She was exhausted and may not be able to control herself. I guess he predicted this would be happening. But when I smelled your blood I thought something bad was going to happen to you and you're not fully recovered, so…" Ichijou let his words trailed off.

"I appreciate your concern, Ichijou," Shiki said sincerely. His gaze went to Rima, who was chatting with the other three.

"So do you have any Pocky Choco with you, Aidou?"

"You still haven't forgotten that, have you?" Aidou said, reaching into his pocket. "Here. That's yours and I've brought mine too, so--"

Rima took one and as Aidou babbled about his favorite flavor, Rima snatched the other from his hand. "Thanks, Aidou. I'll take both."

"Wha- What? You took mine! That's not fair! After all the trouble I'd had just to hide them from Kaname," Aidou pouted, trying to grab back his box of chocolate-coated sticks.

"I'm not going to eat them all, you moron," Rima spat back. "The other one is for… someone. But I can't remember who…" Rima's eyes softened as she stared at the boxes in her hands.

Shiki stiffened at his spot and looked away, pretending to not listening. Aidou didn't argue back. He was too shock to say anything. And not just him. Ichijou, Ruka and Kain, who was watching the argument, stared at Shiki. What was happening?

Realizing the sudden silence around her, Rima looked up. "Hey, did I say something? What's wrong?"

"Err, no. everything's fine," Shiki said quickly. "I think you should have some rest. Please excuse me." He made a move towards the door.

"Uhm, Shiki-san?" Rima called, oblivious of the others' stares on her. Rima never called her friends' names with any suffix. Kuran Kaname was an exception, of course. But, Shiki? She had known Shiki all her life. Unless…

"Yes?" Shiki turned, forcing himself to look at her in the eyes.

"Ah, thank you for your company all this time. I know you've been keeping an eye on me. I hope I could get to know you better."

Shiki clenched his fist and plastered a forceful smile on his face. Ichijou couldn't miss that. "Of course," Shiki murmured. With those words, he hurried off and went out, leaving the other vampires in confusion. 'You knew me better than anyone else, Rima.'

Shiki strode quickly along the corridors and ran into the small forest behind the dorm. He leaned against a huge tree and blinked back some tears that he hid from her. He inhaled deeply and slid down. With his head between his legs, Shiki unmasked the stoic expression on his face and sobbed quietly. Alone. Without anyone knowing, he tried to heal the impossible wounds around his aching heart all by himself. The wounds that even his vampire power couldn't heal.

At least he could see her alive…

That was more than enough. He shouldn't ask for more.

* * *

**A/N:** He he… Relax, that's only the beginning. I'd like to hear your opinions since this is my first time doing an angsty fic. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Firstly, thanks for all your reviews! I love you guys! And lots of thanks and gratitude to those who put my story under alerts and favorites. Your efforts are much appreciated. So here's the second chapter. Waiting for your reviews! XD

**Disclaimer**: Again, VK is not mine.

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

Ruka shuffled from her seat and closed the curtains on Rima's windows. The blinding sunlight was the natural enemy of her pale skin. She disliked sunlight though it could do no harm to her. The room now was dimly lit by the light that escaped through the gaps of the curtains. The dimness in the room reminded her of the shades of sorrow in someone particular's eyes.

"Ruka?" a soft voice called. Ruka turned to see Rima, who was looking at her with speculative eyes. "May I talk to you?"

Ruka moved from her current spot and returned to her seat. "Of course. What do you want to talk about?"

Rima took a deep breath. She paused for a moment to find suitable words to start. "I… I'm not sure how to begin but I think something is missing inside me. I feel incomplete from the moment I woke up. And I keep on dreaming about this person, a guy, but I have no idea who he might be. He had his back facing me and I couldn't see his face. He looked very familiar to me, though. Every time I tried to touch him, he would disappear. It was as if he was shadowed by some kind of… guilt. He was punishing himself. Ruka, do you know who might that be?"

Ruka listened silently. She tried to recompose herself from the thoughts that were banging inside her head. Why did they had to face such hard obstacles? Why couldn't her two friends just get together like the others?

"Ruka?"

"Oh, I- I'm sorry. I'm not very sure, Rima," she lied. Rima mouthed an 'Oh' in disappointment. Ruka felt sorry for her but she wanted her to do it by herself, for her own good.

'Maybe… just maybe… if Shiki and Rima could pass this test, their bond would become stronger,' Ruka thought. 'They won't be separated. They were already held together by their bloody bond.'

The thought eased Ruka a bit. She was sure of it. A vampire's instincts were never wrong.

* * *

The classes for the Night Class students of Cross Academy were been held back after the serious damage to its buildings from the recent battle. The students were given a special leave until the buildings were repaired. However, some of the vampires decided to stay back and keep an eye on the academy with Chairman Cross' permissions.

Shiki was one of them. Going home was not his primary option. He spent his free time wandering around the academy. He found a nice place where he could be alone without anyone interrupting. He would give excuses whenever Ichijou or Ruka asked him to see Rima. He couldn't brace himself and find her. Not yet. He was afraid that he would break in front of her. He didn't want her to see the crumbling side of him. She needed strength and support while he was lacked of those. He couldn't even convince himself to look at her straight in the eyes.

Shiki sighed. The events were still playing in his head over and over again, like a film. He couldn't fight back when his father took over his body. Who could go against a pureblood's wishes, anyway? He couldn't tell Rima. He couldn't warn her or anybody. Though she did found out by her own, he still couldn't control his own body. Rido made use of him fully. The pureblood played with Rima's emotions by using Shiki's voice and power. Of course, he didn't want to fight her. He would never do so. When he saw her determination to free him, he couldn't stay silent any longer. He used his last bit of energy to fight back. To resist Rido's temptations.

But the pureblood was more powerful than he imagined. And he finally was knocked out of his mind. He couldn't remember what he did after that, or what Rido had done to her. He was grateful of Ichijou. Their Vice President was responsible for bringing him back and saving Rima's life. Becoming Rido's puppet was the most crucial moment in Shiki's life.

"Shiki."

Shiki turned abruptly, oblivious of the other's presence. Ichijou stepped in closer and settled down beside the younger vampire.

"How do you know…"

"Easy. I followed you all the way here," Ichijou explained, looking at the brunette closely with his beautiful green eyes. "You were distracted."

"Yeah, thanks for telling me that," Shiki muttered.

Ichijou chuckled at his remarks. Shiki smiled a small smile, feeling a little relieved. It was difficult to feel down when you were around the blond.

"Nice place you've got here," Ichijou said, glancing around. They were sitting under a tree's canopy, high above the ground. The tree was probably older than the two of them. The canopy provided a good shelter from the sunlight and they could sit there for hours, unnoticed.

"Shiki, tell me," Ichijou said, nudging at the chestnut-haired vampire.

"What?"

"Why do you avoid Rima?"

Shiki paused and looked away. "I didn't."

"I know that's not the real answer," the blond urged.

"Fine," Shiki shot back. "I couldn't face her, okay? I don't know what I should say. After all the things that I'd done to her, there's no way she'd forgive me." He lowered his head and stared down his feet.

"You're wrong, Shiki," Ichijou replied. "That was not you. You didn't want to do it. You were being controlled. Believe me, she'd understand perfectly well. You must have faith in her."

"Perhaps this is the best for her," Shiki said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's good for her if she couldn't remember me. She could forget her sufferings. I already hurt her once. I should just let her go."

"And then, what? You're going to suffer alone? Keep blaming yourself over things that weren't even your fault?" Ichijou pointed out grimly. Shiki gave a small smile before letting silence wrapped around them.

"You love her, don't you?" the blond vampire asked out of a sudden.

"What?"

"You truly love Rima, Shiki. I could see it in your eyes. Ask yourself and think about it," the Vice President of Moon Dorm patted Shiki's back, who was startled by the abrupt statement. Then Ichijou disappeared, leaving him alone.

Quickly recollecting himself, Shiki shook his head. 'What was he talking about?' he thought. 'Rima and I are friends. We're good friends…'

And…

_I do love her._

* * *

Rima had a dream again. It was the same dream, the same person, the same familiarity. This time she was closer to him. With his back facing her, she could only see his tousled red-brown hair and his creamy white uniform. A Night Class uniform.

Rima's hand reached out but before she could touch him, he turned and looked at her. Rima froze at her place. His silvery blue orbs flashed in the darkness and his fair, smooth skin glistened.

'Shiki Senri?'

He didn't say anything. Instead, he lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek, just above her jaw. She was speechless. She wanted to talk and ask questions but her lips seemed to be sealed. Suddenly, a jolt of energy ran through her body. His face became a blur in her vision and what she saw was a strain of images playing before her eyes. Something she called memory.

The scenes kept changing one by one in incomplete manner. There were no voices, only vivid images. There was a scene when she was still a toddler, playing in the pure white snow. The scenes changed drastically from a peaceful, innocent event into a scene where she could see blood drenching all over the place. A flash of light struck over. Rima realized it was her own power but she never uses it unless…

Then a face appeared before her. It was that face again. _His face_. However, it looked different. Somehow, it reflected a deep vengeance and hatred. The small smile that used to linger around his lips was replaced by a sly, wicked grin. His eyes were what she noticed most. The silver eyes were not glowing in their usual gentleness and warmth. Instead, those twin silver pools radiated an impenetrable aversion. It was so deep that she shuddered involuntarily the moment she stared into it. At that exact moment, she realized it wasn't the real him. It wasn't Shiki!

Rima opened her eyes abruptly and panted on her bed. Her hair was damp with sweat and her heart skipped a beat while her azure eyes ran wild under her golden fringe.

'What was that?' Rima wondered once she had calmed down. 'Why does Shiki Senri keep appearing in my dreams?'

She sank her head back on the pillow, trying to replay the dream in her head. What had happened? The Shiki in her dream… he was totally different from the one she met a few days ago. His thirst for power was unbearable. Rima quivered slightly under her comforter. She closed her eyes, imagining a pair of warm arms wrapped around her. Out of nowhere, _his_ face came into her view.

But it was a face full of sorrow. His eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows drew together as he muffled 'I'm sorry' under his breath. He whispered it near her ears over and over again. Without realizing it, Rima cuddled up in the imaginary arms and murmured, "It's okay… Shiki."

* * *

Shiki stopped dead in his track and turned behind, expecting someone to show up. But nobody was lurking around him. Only some dried leaves being blown by the wind.

'Weird,' he thought bluntly. 'I thought I heard someone calling my name.'

He looked at his surroundings and was surprised to find himself standing near the Moon Dorm. 'What brought my feet here?' he wondered, tousling his chestnut hair.

Instinctively, he looked up and saw Rima's half-opened window. Staring at the window, he hesitated for a moment before finally decided to 'drop by'. _For one last time,_ _perhaps_, he thought again.

He leapt up and landed gracefully on the window-sill. He sneaked in quietly and closed the window behind him. Leaning against the wall, he watched as Rima curled herself under her comforter, sleeping peacefully. Her steady breath seemed to calm him down. She was safe, just like he wanted her to be.

Shiki approached her and slipped his fingers suavely between her strands of golden hair, placing them above her ear so that he could see her face better. He never gets bored of her face. The serene expression she had always sent his heart jumping. He realized that he couldn't leave her side.

'But what would she think if she saw a stranger in her room?' Shiki thought to himself, his confidence melted every second. Shaking his head, he collected the shattering pieces of his heart and moved towards the window. He glanced back one last time and leapt away into the moonless night.

"Goodbye, Rima, koishii…"

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, finished the second chap. Hmmm so how was it? Pour all your opinions/comments in your review. I'll work hard to improve this story. FYI, _'koishii'_ is the word used by Japanese gentlemen to address their beloved woman. Literally, it means 'my love' or 'my dear'.

Last chapter coming soon! R&R onegaishimasu!!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Finally! The last chap. First of all, I'm terribly sorry for taking such a long time to update. School just started and I was busy handling a few things (and stacks of homework thrown every single day to my face don't help much). And! Lots of thanks and gratitude to those who reviews, especially my loyal reviewers! Your reviews keep me moving and please continue doing so. XD

**Disclaimer: **This amazing manga belongs to Hino Matsuri-sensei. I never own the characters.

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**CHAPTER 3**

It was the second dream Rima had that night. She was still puzzled over those dreams. What was the meaning?

Rima stood in a cavern of darkness. She stumbled a few paces forward and saw a circle of light. Rima stopped as she realized that someone was standing under the light. It took her a few seconds to adjust her eyes and finally a figure emerged in her vision.

His albino-like skin glowed faintly in the light. His silvery blue eyes sparkled as they met her cerulean pools. His lips curled upwards to form a gentle smile. His face was the face carved by an angel. Flawless. Perfect.

"Shiki Senri… why? How?"

Rima was spellbound as Shiki held out a hand. She was uncertain but the small voice inside her head urged her to take his hand. Slowly, she lifted her hand and touched his. He gripped her hand tightly, making her face warm.

Suddenly, a jolt of energy struck her. For a moment, she was frozen. She felt as if she was charmed by the strongest magic. The answers to her unanswered questions lied before her eyes. Everything was crystal clear. All the things that she needed to know were in her hands. The truth had unfolded itself.

Without realizing it, her tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She gasped and tried to catch her breath. The next thing she knew, she was pulled into a tight hug as a pair of strong arms wound around her. Rima buried her face on Shiki's chest and sobbed on his blazer, wetting it. She knew it was him since his familiar scent that she missed each day reached her. It felt so real. The warmth of his breath that brushed her hair and his gentle yet firm embrace…

"Don't cry, Rima," she heard him muffling.

"Shiki!"

Then she woke up. The hot tears stung her eyes as she realized that she was still crying. Glancing around the dark room, she tried to process her recent dream. Every single thing stuck in her head clearly. She could still feel his warmth. His scent, a mixture of vanilla and cinnamon, lingered around her. Rima could only think of one thing as she scrambled off her bed.

"I must find Shiki."

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Shiki?"

Shiki turned to face Ichijou as he settled down on his bed. His thoughtful eyes were fixed on the floor as he weighed his answer. Breathing in deeply, Shiki looked at the blond and said a clear "Yes."

"What?!" Aidou exclaimed, while his cool-headed cousin watched quietly at the side. "Then, what about Rima?"

"I'm doing this for her," Shiki said quietly. "If I leave, she didn't have to recall those painful memories. She didn't need me here. I'm sure she'd live a better life without me around. Besides, I need some time for myself."

Ichijou sighed, knowing that he couldn't change Shiki's mind. The others fell silent too. The door clicked and four heads abruptly turned as Kuran Kaname stepped in with Ruka trailing behind. Kain and Shiki stood to acknowledge the pureblood's presence. Kaname's deep eyes flickered towards Shiki.

"Shiki," he started. "Have you thought thoroughly?"

"Yes."

Kaname nodded. "If you've made up your mind, I don't have the right to stop you. Do whatever you think is good for you and for Rima."

"Arigatou, Kuran-sama. I'll inform Chairman Cross--"

Suddenly, the door burst open and Rima stood in the middle of the doorway, catching her breath. Her golden hair was not tied in its usual pigtails and her cheeks flushed as heat rose to her face. Shiki stared at her, not believing his eyes. The other vampires just blinked and shifted their gazes from Rima to Shiki.

Looking straight at the chestnut-haired vampire, Rima approached him as she tried to calm herself. Wide-eyed, Shiki blinked once.

"Tell me, Shiki Senri, what are you trying to do?" Rima asked, jabbing a finger at him. "Are you planning on leaving by yourself and not telling me anything? How could you even think of that?" Rima's voice broke as she struggled to maintain her expression.

"I remember everything now. Every single, tiny thing. You shouldn't do this to yourself. I never put the blame on you, Shiki," Rima said, her uncontrollable tears overflowed now. "Please, don't leave--"

Rima was startled when Shiki suddenly extended his arms and grabbed her swiftly into his embrace. He buried his face in her hair, calming her down. She clutched his shirt tightly as her tears continued to flow down. She didn't care about her stoic mask anymore as long as she could stay in his arms. It was just like the dream. Only this time, it was real.

Kaname quietly walked out of the room. Ichijou followed hi, gesturing for the others to leave the couple. Ruka glanced back at them and smiled gratefully before shutting the door close.

"Gomen. Rima," Shiki murmured, running his hand through her silky locks. Rima slowly pulled away and looked at him. Her fingers were still clutching the sides of his linen button-up.

"What are you talking about?" Rima whispered, gazing deeply into his silver orbs. Shiki held her gaze for a few moments before leaning down and pressed his forehead on hers. He released a sigh, making Rima's cheeks coloured with a tinge of pink at the feel of his warm breath.

"It was all my fault," he started. "I hurt you deeply, in the inside and outside. I could see you very clearly that time. My subconscious mind yelled at me to stop but I couldn't do anything. I have to do whatever _he_ wanted me to do. I had disappointed you. I am just a pathetic puppet--"

Shiki stopped his words and lifted his face when Rima shushed him by placing a finger on his lips. Her blue eyes were clouded by droplets of crystals.

"You are not a puppet," Rima said in a clear tone. "Not Rido's. Not anyone else's. You're just… my Shiki. My perfect and only Shiki I could find in this world, in our eternal life. You hear me?"

Rima's face was totally red the moment she finished. Shiki's lips formed a charming smile as he leaned down once again, this time closer to her face. He paused for a moment and brushed his nose lightly on hers. Rima blinked at the sudden move.

"Thank you, Rima," Shiki said softly, pulling her into his arms. "Thank you so much." Rima patted his back gently, reassuring him. She squinted slightly when she felt his body tensed up. He held her tighter and she realized that his shoulders were quivering.

"Shiki?" Rima whispered, trying to look at his way.

"Don't move, Rima," Shiki muffled hoarsely into her nightgown, trying to control his whimpers. "Let me hold you a little longer. You don't know how happy… how grateful I am to get you back. It's like… getting back my life."

Rima closed her eyes and rested her chin on his nape. It felt really nice and warm.

"It's okay, Shiki. It's okay. We'll be together. Always."

"If you say so, koishii…"

_Yes. Forever._

_

* * *

  
_

**A/N:** Done! I'm very very very sorry for making this story so short. I just couldn't let Shiki and Rima be separated for a longer time!! It will make me crying! (then why did you write this fic in the first place, smartie?)

Okay, so, uhmmm, reviews? For the sake of our favorite Shiki and Rima! XD


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